Spitzer's Slip-Up

"Behind every strong man, there is a strong woman." Everyone has heard this saying at least once in their lives. Women, especially in the public eye, have to smile on the outside while they are crying within. They have to present a stoic face to the world and put on a front as if everything is great in their world and it makes me wonder why they stay. Is it because they love being with a powerful man and the lifestyle it provides? Is it simply because, despite everything, they really do love their husbands and want to make it work? Or is it because they do not want to show weakness in the public eye?

Of course, I am referring to the recent controversy surrounding Governor Spitzer's tryst with a prostitute. It stirred up much controversy and, despite everything, his wife was there by his side providing support during his public apology even though he did not yet deserve her forgiveness let alone her support. Many people called her a fool as she stood there by her husband's side expressionless and unassuming. I guess what it all comes down to is, rich and powerful or not, anyone can be a fool for love.

Hazing Victim's Nightmare

This was the title given to an article in the Staten Island Advance about the suspension of the Sigma Chi Upsilon fraternity from St. John's University. I printed the article because i was going to use it as the topic of a Public Speaking speech but never did. I came across it as I was cleaning out my desk and began to think back to all of the controversy that surrounded the incident.

Everyone was made to cease with their pledging activities pending the investigation and many were scared away from the pledging process completely after hearing the story. Rumors were spread around that the President and Vice President of the fraternity would face criminal charges. The school asked everyone who was already Greek and those interested in joining a sorority or fraternity to attend speeches related to hazing. I was curious as to exactly what it was that set everything into motion so I went and did my own research.

As stated in the article:

"Ms. Harker alleges her son was made to walk backwards down stair on his knees, do push-ups--sometimes with someone on back--sit-ups and hold heavy objects for extended periods. He was slapped and held down by the neck when he foundered and also jabbed in the chest with a broom handle and thrown into a work bench, she alleges."

I have a good friend that is a member of the Sigma Chi Upsilon fraternity and, as much as I value his friendship, I cannot condone what he and his brothers took part in or allowed to happen. Things like this give a bad name to Greeks in general and validates the stereotypes that people outside of the Greek community give to us. I wear my letters proudly and am passionate about my sorority despite the fact that I was never hazed. Though I understand the concept of "earning your letters," I do not think that a person should have to earn them through physical violence. I hope that everyone learned something from this incident and that it did not go unnoticed.

I Love You...Now Change!

In today's world of anorexic models and generic ideas of what attractiveness is, people are finding more and more reasons to be dissatisfied with their appearance and they are turning to quick fixes, thinking that it will boost their confidence levels, consequently making them more popular. Women are obsessed with looking like Kate Moss and men are obsessed with having physiques like the pro athletes on television who most likely got their muscles superficially. However, they rarely take the time to think of the consequences. For some people, it can become addictive, finding one thing after another that can be improved on after having the first surgery. Is it really worth it to shell out all of this money and go through the hassle of surgeries to supposedly make you feel better? Wouldn't it just be easier to embrace the way you look and love yourself for the real you instead of the cut, scraped, and sucked you? Couldn't we stop trying to model ourselves after celebrities and realize that the average person doesn't look like that? Most of those things that celebrities have and that we tend to envy were paid for...many of them have gotten have gotten so much "work" done that it is hard to decipher what nature gave them from what they got at their surgeon's hands.

Nowadays, there are so many different things a person can do to tweak their appearance that it is easy to be sucked into the world of liposuction and botox injections. It is a lot easier than waking up every morning, looking in the mirror, and being content with what you have. It is way easier than asking people to accept you for the person you are, whether overweight or underdeveloped. If a person really loved you, they would love your flaws as well because they are a part of you. You should never change who you are for anyone. It may be true that tons of people go under the knife everyday and come back looking and feeling better, rid of their insecurities. But plastic surgery can also go very wrong...is that a risk you want to take? As for me, I'm waking up everyday and finding new reasons to love myself.

how r u...kk ttyl!

I know that my last few entries may have come off as diary entries more than anything. What can I say? I write what I feel no matter what that may be. But I'm back now...

I've been wondering why everything is becoming so impersonal in today's world and I think that I have identified the main culprits: text messaging,AIM,and e-mail...in that order. The days of calling someone to see how they're doing are past. Nowadays, we can just send a text message asking, "How r u?" Don't get me wrong, I see the convenience of all of these things. I can talk on AIM and watch a show at the same time. I can text message when I have something important to say but I am in a place where I can't talk. E-mail allows one to stay in touch with many people all at once. But sometimes it bothers me that I go so long without talking to a loved one that I forget how their voice sounds. And it also scares me that this may be the extent of the contact I have with my friends and family in the future. What petrifies me is that my father and grandmother text message me now. I really think that everyone should be able to take at least five minutes out of their day once or twice a week to call someone and check on them and hold an actual conversation rather than chatting on AIM. The new practices are quicker and more convenient but there is nothing like an old-fashioned phone call or, dare I say, a visit?

Enough Said...

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.-Mohandas Gandhi
Forgiveness is the greatest healer of all. –Gerald Jampolsky & Diane V. Cirincione

I realized that many people have done me wrong in my life and inadvertently, I’ve held a grudge against them for a really long time. It’s time to let it go. I can forgive even if I choose not to forget. I was letting someone hold my life in his hands. I was letting what he did to me in the past dictate my future. I’ve decided now that I want my life back. I want to move on in life and look forward to the future without looking back to the past.

To Shamira

I've made a lot of mistakes but you aren't one
I was at my breaking point but then here you come
Bringing smiles to my face when I really want to frown
And lifting my spirits when everyone else is trying to bring me down
Who knew there could be so much power in something so fragile?
But it can't be denied, you're a blessing my child
When your little hand holds mine and you look into my eyes
I forget my flaws and focus on what I did right
Creating a beautiful baby, though some would say too soon
But you're here now my precious flower, I'm going to give you the love you need to bloom
Never thought I deserved something so beautiful
But God showed He still loved me by giving me you
You saved my life in so many ways
Everything was dark but now I'm seeing brighter days
For eight divine months, I carried you close to my heart
And though we are no longer one, we will never be apart
You are my rainbow in the sky, the breath that gives me life
The brightest star can no longer be found in the sky at night
I've captured it, you belong to me
Right here by my side for all to see
Times won't always be easy, they may get so hard that we want to quit
Challenges may be thrown our way, but together we can face it
My love will never fade, it goes on for eternity
And we'll create our own paradise, you and me

As parents, we have to be the voice of reason all of the time and the bad guy most of the time. We try to consider our children's feelings but we have to ultimately do what we think is best for them and, as a result, we may say things we don't mean and cause our children to doubt that we love them and have their best interests at heart. I've realized that my actions don’t always prove to my daughter just how much I love her. I decided to write a few words, in the form of a poem, for her to read when she gets older. This way, when we have fights, she won’t ever think that I don’t love her. Instead, she’ll know that I always did.

Everyday Inspiration

Everyone has difficult days in their lives. For some people, they occur more often but they are something that everyone has in common. Being a single mother trying to balance work, school, relationships, and a precocious 2 year old takes a lot out of me and there are days where I just don't feel like getting out of bed. I talked to my favorite aunt about it and she mailed me a poem that I decided to hang up on my wall for those days when I needed a little bit of help convincing myself to get out of bed. I think that everyone can relate to it in some kind of way and, in hopes that it may be able to help someone else, I am going to post the poem here. Again, these are not my words but I think that they are words of wisdom that should be passed on. Though at first read, it appears to be about moving past failed relationships, I believe that it can be applied to other aspects of life or at the very least help a person find that inner strength that everyone possesses whether they know it or not. This poem can help a person move past almost any hardship, whether it be a failed relationship or a lost job.


Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle differences
Between holding a hand, and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean security
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid flight
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden, and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring flowers
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong
And you really have worth
And you learn, and learn...And you learn
With every goodbye you learn
"You don't have to be afraid of change
You don't have to worry about what's been taken away
Just look to see what's been added."

So spread your wings and learn to soar to a brighter horizon...even if its on your own.